Thread: Going to a funeral.

Just got the news earlier this evening. The funeral is not tomorrow but the day after.

Was advised: "People have been advised not to wear total black to the service."

I have a business suit that is very, very dark blue. When I bought the suit a month ago, salesman said it may not be black but you can still wear this to funerals.

Would this be appropriate since it's not 'total black', or should I be wearing a grey suit or something that is clearly not black?

It's going to be an emotionally-charged funeral for me for a number of reasons but I am not going to let it show one bit.

Sorry about your loss James. I wouldn't fret too much about what to wear at the funeral. More important that you are there, to show that the person mattered to you.

I'd think the "not to wear total black" means that you have not to wear black shirt, black tie, black suit and so on altogether. Your suit sounds fine. A black suit and white shrt would be fine too.

Thank you.

In that case the only thing I can do really, is wear a white shirt or off-white shirt and a non-black tie. And the very very dark blue suit I have.

Looking at the weather forecast it's going to rain on the day. It's going to be a very long drive.

I just realised my favourite photo that I happened to take on the day this person died, was this one:

Have you got someone to go with you?

No I don't. There's a long history.

Sorry for your loss James and-- your photo.. I can feel the connection. My suggestion would be to wear your suit, lighten it up with your shirt and a more vibrant tie and you can always take your jacket off and drape it on your arm or a chair when you are there to break up the darkness of your attire. Above all don't worry. Everyone fumbles through these things.. your being there is what truly matters.

Yeah I was thinking, I do have a couple of bright ties I can wear. I'm just not sure what the etiquette is, I don't want it to look too bright.

Stay safe on the drive there. Leave early and take your time.