Abandoning Facebook

Discussion in 'The Watering Hole' started by kyteflyer, Apr 16, 2017.

  1. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Sue
    Anyone else done it, doing it? Not as easy as it seems, once you are enmeshed in its system.
     
  2. Luke

    Luke Super Moderator Subscribing Member

    Nov 11, 2011
    Milwaukee, WI USA
    Luke
    Hey Sue,
    One can "cut the cord", but still be "on it". I am not on it in a personal fashion, but my store has a webpage that I monitor. I can see how people "get addicted", and that is VERY much my personality type. But I don't want to feed that side of me, so I only use it for business.

    My wife is "on" facebook. And she spends a fair amount of time looking at posts from friends and keeping up with people (and more often than not just watching endless mindless amusing pet videos. Not my bag, but she enjoys it.....but as far as the outside world knows, she's not on it.

    So you need to decide how far "off of it" you want to be. I think it makes sense to just set everything to private and max out your isolation. And then just check in as minimally as you want or as much as time and interest permit. You'll either find out that you don't miss it and can then just stay "as is", or you may realize that you do get SOMETHING from SOME of the interactions and then you can just fine tune our use.

    Hope you find your balance (or the best way to quit)
     
  3. Matero

    Matero SC Veteran

    327
    Dec 25, 2014
    Helsinki, Finland
    I'm just connected to friends and relatives. It has helped to be in contact. You aren't obligated to watch the pet videos, you know ;)
     
  4. Biro

    Biro SC All-Pro Subscribing Member

    Aug 7, 2011
    Jersey Shore
    Steve
    I've been pondering my Facebook status for a while now. The truth is, I find it much more annoying than useful. I was never on Facebook until September 2015, when I was laid off from my last job. A few former colleagues got on Facebook to stay in touch. We do that, but not in any meaningful way.

    The truth is, interaction on Facebook tends to be very shallow. Most people don't even read many of the posts they "like." And - at least in the U.S. - how many of us have had to endure the rants from those trying to peddle their political views?

    And don't get me started on "slacktivism." How many times have you seen someone post some moronic meme like "I love mom, apple pie and America. If you do too, pass this along."

    Moreover, I find that the things I really want to see turn up two or three days after they were posted. Clearly, Facebook's algorithms need work - at least from my point of view.

    I think my days on Facebook are numbered. But I'll hang in there a bit longer. There's an event coming up at which a friend of mine will be honored. I plan to shoot a short video and post it for her. After that...

    Also, remember how much information about yourself that you'e giving Facebook... so it can sell that information to advertisers. Posts that you "like" tell them a lot. Even if you "hide" certain ads, they learn more about you. If you use Facebook's log-in on any other site, they learn even more. It never ends... even if you have most of your settings on "private." Remember, if you're being offered a service free of charge (like Facebook) remember, IT is not the product... YOU are the product.

    I don't mean to pooh-pooh Facebook for those who enjoy it or find it useful. More power to them. But if you're actually wondering if you should stay, think about whether most (or any) or your interactions are meaningful - or at least useful. And think about whether you are comfortable giving away all of that information about yourself. If not, perhaps it's time to pull the plug.
     
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  5. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Sue
    I'm with you, Steve. Most interactions are just meaningless. I got dragged into it by my cousin when it was still fairly newish, as in, publicly available, and back then I thought it was fairly decent. Its become something else though and I don't like the direction its taking. I hate when I do a search for something online (eg, I looked for a new mattress) and then I was swamped by ads for mattresses. Found out just recently that fb has little cookies it makes available to almost anyone, for tracking purposes and "tailoring" the advertising to individuals. And thats just one aspect of intrusion that I detest.

    You're absolutely right on about people not reading posts, I sometimes post an article from a newspaper and a bunch of people will "like" it but they would not be able to answer a question about it. Like even what it was about. Seems the like button is just a lazy option.

    I've tried partial withdrawal but I keep getting hooked back in. It is easy enough to lose yourself in there, especially when you are solo in life. There's just me and Toby, rellies are few and far between, and scattered far and wide, and I've never been one to have thousands of friends and acquaintances... just a very few and lucky to have those.

    I need to do other things than sit on facebook for half a day every day.

    I think what got me going most recently was this doco on our local ABC. Hoepfully you and others may be able to see it. Its 43 minutes.
     
  6. Lightmancer

    Lightmancer Super Moderator Subscribing Member

    Aug 13, 2011
    Sunny Frimley
    Bill Palmer
    I was on Facebook for a couple of years. I detested the shallow groupthink and the viral and manipulative nature of it's behaviours, much like AOL and Apple. I actually left because I was "stalked" by an ex-girlfriend on there and that had to be stopped. It IS possible to remove oneself entirely. It takes a bit of menu-diving AND the use of an Android app named "Exfoliate" which clears you from everywhere on Facebook including other people's timelines (if you don't do this, fragments of "you" are left behind). You genuinely don't need it in your life. "Facebook friends" is an oxymoron.

    Sue, your sentiment and propensity tracking is only partly down to Facebook. It's common now; remember I keep saying if you are not paying for the product you are the product? Search for something anywhere using a normal browser and it becomes a datum point for others to use for marketing purposes. Search in incognito mode, refuse cookies when offered, clear down cookies regularly or switch to a browser such as Tor or Duckduckgo and you won't be troubled in future.
     
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  7. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Sue
    Sadly, Bill, Exfoliate is not available any longer (which is a pain, I bought it ages ago exactly for that purpose).. and when I still had it, because of the changes that they keep making in facebook, it no longer did the job. There are some browser extensions which claim to... but...

    Duckduckgo is not exempt, because the cookies I speak of are actually installed by site owners on their sites. I wasnt aware of this until I watched that doco as referenced above. Duckduckgo isnt leaking info, the actual websites are. I've tried refusing cookies entirely but then can't see what I want to.
     
  8. rayvonn

    rayvonn SC Top Veteran

    590
    Jan 19, 2015
    I just assumed that sort of thing was the norm, so never opened an account. I've noticed among other users, a generally unhealthy pattern of being contacted by long lost "friends" who in all liklihood were long lost for a reason. And then follows, the uncomfortable "un-friend"ing process. Nah, don't need it!
     
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  9. marlof

    marlof Trying to focus Subscribing Member

    Dec 25, 2010
    The Netherlands
    Marlof
    I was on Facebook because of peer pressure (from my family) but soon left because it had a negative value on the scale of meaning to my life. Happily I didn't post anything on my own timeline (never found a good reason to start doing that), nor did I comment much in my short stint on it.

    I have this theory of investment. Something is considered more valuable if you have to invest (time or money) in it. If communication is easy and requires very little initiative of the people involved, it tends to decrease the value of communication. I too often had the feeling that when people connected through Facebook, there just was no real connection. So I quit. I miss updates from some people who tend to only communicate through Facebook, but that's okay by me. Obviously we don't care enough about each other to have some one on one quality time.

    Last Friday I went to a great show by the band Pain of Salvation. This is a band that pours out its soul when performing. To my amazement some people around me were checking their Facebook timeline as the band performed. Now that's an addiction I don't care for. I prefer living in the here and now, and accept all of the limitations that go with that attitude.

    34003981876_0e8c6239e0_c.
    Go see the show
    by Marlof Bregonje, on Flickr
     
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  10. Ray Sachs

    Ray Sachs SC Legend Subscribing Member

    Sep 21, 2010
    Not too far from Philly
    you should be able to figure it out...
    Facebook to me is like cars, a pain in the ass but sort of a necessary evil. The key, as with most technology, is to use it but don't let yourself get addicted to it. I realized a long time ago that most of the people I care about in the world are on it to some degree or another and if I wanted to stay in touch with them, it was gonna be part of the process. Not the whole process, but a useful part of it. The people I'm closest too I still talk on the phone with regularly and see whenever possible, but Facebook is nice for hearing a quick synopsis of their latest adventures and seeing their travel photos without having to endure a four hour "slide show" upon their return (which I subjected people to a few times as well, and never felt good about it)... And, to be honest, I've managed to reconnect to a number of long lost friends through Facebook and while it's not a HUGE thing (I wouldn't have lost touch with them in the first place if it was), it's really pleasant to just sort of be loosely in touch with people who meant a lot to you at some point, even it only tangentially now.

    If people are obnoxious and post about every meal and every fart (or every political infraction) I just unfollow them so I don't see their constant posts but I stay friends and I just go check in on their page once in a while to see if I've missed anything important among all the flotsam and jetsam... I've even unfollowed my brother because he uses Facebook as a place to complain about Trump ALL THE TIME. And while I almost always agree with him, I just don't want to wallow in it constantly. But I check his page out from time to time to find the occasional non-political post that I'd hate to miss completely.

    As for photos, I use Facebook mostly for sharing photos of family and friends with family and friends. Which I mostly won't share on Flickr or a forum like this (unless I have a few shots that demonstrate a lens' capability or face detection or something). And if I do a bunch of photography that's more photography for photography's sake, which I'll share on Flickr and forums, I might just post a link to a Flickr album so my friends and family can go check it out if interested, but it's not in their face if they're not.

    I've made my peace with stuff like Facebook and Twitter. I'm not addicted to either, but I find both incredibly useful if kept in their place. I don't love cars or driving either, but unless I lived in the middle of a large city with great transit, I wouldn't be without one...

    -Ray
     
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  11. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Sue
    Alas, my addictive personality means I spend way too much time.

    I'm also coming to the conclusion that interactions on facebook, at least with my "friends" actually have very little meaning. I have one friend who posts scads of photos of her grandkids. Which is nice for some, I guess, but after the 75th, its a bit boring for some of us. Also, she never looks at anyone else's posts and doesnt respond to them. Fortunately my friendship with her is 99% offline so it doesnt matter to me. Anotehr friend who likes to see my photos responded to my flickr link by saying "oh I dont know how to use flickr" (how hard is it just to look) and "I dont really have time" (and yet, you spend lots of time on facebook) and "maybe you could just post Toby photos occasionally". Um... no. Thats just lazy. And thats what facebook has given us. Hordes of lazy friends who cant be bothered to pick up the phone or meet for coffee. Stuff em. I dont need them.
     
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  12. Luke

    Luke Super Moderator Subscribing Member

    Nov 11, 2011
    Milwaukee, WI USA
    Luke
    the internet ruins everything. I can't wait until the fad is over
     
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  13. Ray Sachs

    Ray Sachs SC Legend Subscribing Member

    Sep 21, 2010
    Not too far from Philly
    you should be able to figure it out...
    From what I've heard, it already is. Now we're well along into the next one - the "internet of things", which is the way your toaster and dishwasher and thermostat and microwave are gathering information on us and sending them to... Google probably, but who knows? Maybe Assange?
     
  14. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Sue
    UGH, I never could understand the need to have a connected fridge. My TV isnt "smart", but I do have an AppleTV for streaming stuff. I dont want to have my house connected, and I dont want any control to be handed over to third parties.

    I've actually gone ahead this morning and deleted my fb account and apart from letting a few people know, who don't log in very often, I am done with it. More or less. I still have a games account but am not sure if I really need to have that, either. I think the games I play *can* be played without facebook and if thats the case, I'll drop that account as well.
     
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  15. john m flores

    john m flores SC All-Pro

    Aug 13, 2012
    The best thing you can do on Facebook is to Unfollow those people that give you agita.


    Even if they are family.



    Especially if they are family ;)



    You are still Friends but their noise does not show up on your wall.
     
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  16. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Sue
    I did all that, John. Interestingly I find family to be just fine, but one cousin tended to make everything about him... so I unfollowed everyone, in the end. What I detest about facebook is that its actually a barrier to real connections. I'd rather communicate by email. Or even on forums like this, where there can be discussion. Facebook doesnt even really encourage discussion because your stuff (or someone elses) is gone before the day's half over. Scrolled off the page. Disappeared. And NOBODY looks in people's timelines. If its not in the newsfeed, it doesnt exist. Thats just a huge crock.
     
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  17. Luke

    Luke Super Moderator Subscribing Member

    Nov 11, 2011
    Milwaukee, WI USA
    Luke
    You definitely have a point, Sue. I pop in here several times a day and try to contribute to "conversations" that are going in. And I try not to just state my case and move on, but actually revisit threads and have some back and forth. I don;t think enormous web gathering places can ever have the kind of atmosphere that a small, niche forum like this has attracted. Which is fine. Gives me more time to walk in the woods, play with cameras, watch baseball, avoid work, etc.
     
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  18. john m flores

    john m flores SC All-Pro

    Aug 13, 2012
    Yeah, Facebook is a bit like trying to sip wine through a firehose but I have managed to have some interesting conversations there with old friends that I might not otherwise interact with. And I have family all over the world that I can keep up with.

    I do have cousins 8 hours away that aren't on Facebook and I'm not nearly as up to date on the day to day of their lives. One has actually started writing me letters. On paper. AND MAILING THEM! I have responded once and need to do more.
     
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  19. marlof

    marlof Trying to focus Subscribing Member

    Dec 25, 2010
    The Netherlands
    Marlof
    I do see that Facebook can have a good purpose for some of us. It's just that it didn't fit me. Then again, I never go to school reunions either.
     
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  20. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Sue
    School REunions UGH. I almost committed to go to one later this year. FIFTY YEARS. Yikes. I dont particularly want them all to see how decrepit I have become, and TBH I dont have much in common with them anyway.
     
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