The Gripe Sheet

Discussion in 'The Watering Hole' started by Hauki, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. Hauki

    Hauki SC Regular

    Dec 2, 2011
    Somerset, England
    The Gripe Sheet
    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    P = The problem logged by the pilot.
    S = The solution and action taken by the maintenance engineers.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.
    • Like Like x 5
  2. Iansky

    Iansky SC Top Veteran

    Dec 8, 2011
    Cotswolds, UK
    maybe camera manufacturers should start a similar process for the first 3 months following launch of a new product - they could open an official forum on the Manufacturing website directly related to the new camera and run a Q&A session.

    But would they?
    • Like Like x 2
  3. BBW

    BBW Administrator Emeritus

    Jul 7, 2010
    betwixt and between
    Real Name:
    Hebert thank you for making me smile this morning!! And Ian, to tell you the truth I think a camera gripe sheet (fake of course) would be very funny to see. Perhaps someone here will give it a try?:biggrin:
  4. Armanius

    Armanius Bring Jack back!

    Jan 11, 2011
    Houston, Texas
    Real Name:
    I thought of that too. It would go great lengths in promoting good will, IMO.
  5. BBW

    BBW Administrator Emeritus

    Jul 7, 2010
    betwixt and between
    Real Name:
    For now, we could make our own with fictitious responses.:wink:
  6. Armanius

    Armanius Bring Jack back!

    Jan 11, 2011
    Houston, Texas
    Real Name:
    Here's a couple

    P: the camera doesn't work properly
    S: too late, we already have your $$

    P: why wasn't a built in ND filter included on the X10?
    S: because it's going to be in the X20
    • Like Like x 3