These'll make you groan!

Discussion in 'The Watering Hole' started by bilzmale, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. bilzmale

    bilzmale Super Moderator Emeritus

    Jul 17, 2010
    Perth, Western Australia
    Real Name:
    Bill Shinnick
    1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, But he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, Because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, It'll still be stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    17. A backward poet writes inverse.

    18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, They got a taste of religion.

    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says,'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron. 'The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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  2. Will

    Will SC All-Pro

    Aug 30, 2010
    I actually did LOL
  3. kyteflyer

    kyteflyer ~@¿@~

    Jan 31, 2011
    Newcastle, Australia
    Real Name:
    I'm with Will! I am still hooting!
  4. BBW

    BBW Administrator Emeritus

    Jul 7, 2010
    betwixt and between
    Real Name:
    They did, but some actually made me chuckle, too. I especially liked #12 and #21. :biggrin:
  5. BigTam

    BigTam SC Regular

    Jun 23, 2011
    Dortmund, Germany
    Real Name:
    In cold war days, a midget from Prague slipped over the border to Austria and asked a farmer "Can you cache a small Czech?"

    YOu may have started something here :smile:
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